You really only ever need to start over when something else has ended. Endings can be unpleasant. Painful even. Often an ending feels like a failure. New beginnings can be unsettling and really scary.
A relationship, a friendship, a job or a business; these can all be devastating when you lose them. A bereavement. It goes without saying that losing somebody close shakes your world to its core. Then there are those goals that you were hoping to achieve, but somehow didn’t make it. Weight loss maybe, or quitting smoking. These are all situations where you have a choice, and sometimes a need, to start again. To move on. Experiences that are traumatic. They take a whole load of moving on from!
Often you get stuck and feel unable or unwilling to move on. You may find yourself clinging to what’s gone, sometimes without realising it. You can spend huge chunks of time reliving past experiences, and analysing them in minute detail. Emotional attachments become unshakeable and you can’t seem to free yourself.
Starting over doesn’t necessarily mean reinventing yourself. Sometimes it just means having a little faith and taking a few steps outside your comfort zone. It can boost your confidence and empower you. You’ll conquer fear more easily, and be open to opportunities and possibilities. That’s an exciting journey.
If this is you, and you think you’re ready to start over, try this: –
- Learn any lessons, in a healthy and balanced way. What did this person or situation teach you? You cannot compare the lessons you learn from experiencing something yourself, to those you learn from a book or a seminar!
- Ground yourself. Realign yourself with your values. What is important to you now, at this stage in your life?
- Where do you want to be, ultimately? Create a vision, with as much detail as you can manage.
- Make a plan. A realistic one.
- Take action. Baby steps just outside your comfort zone are fine to start with. Trust that it will be OK.
- Keep taking action, until you get there. Check in with your vision. It will motivate and inspire you to keep going.
- Finally, look back at your journey. See how you got yourself unstuck, and realise that starting over isn’t actually that scary or daunting, when you have the nerve to do it.
I wish you good luck, and success!
As always, if you need some support, ask for it.
By Judith Flowerday