5 Benefits of Bitching and Complaining
Are you a complainer? Do you whinge about how crap your life/job/partner/boss/family is, to anybody who will listen? I’m talking about the chronic complainer who never takes action to change or improve anything, but just bitches about it. Is that you? How’s that working for you?
This is different to the sharing of woes we do with our partner or our friends. That’s a two-way thing. A mutually supportive kind of unspoken arrangement.
There are benefits that you may not have considered to your constant moaning.
- You’ll feel better. For about 5 minutes. That outpouring of whine is massively satisfying. Unfortunately, it all builds up again fairly quickly and you’ll feel just as pissed off as you did before.
- You’ll get attention. Attention is always nice, isn’t it? Initially people around you will consider thoughtfully what you say. They’ll probably offer solutions, which you’ll ignore. Then, by the 25th time you’ve whined about the same boring thing (or everything!), you may not even be aware of raised eyebrows, rolling eyes and pretend yawns. Right before they bitch to each other about what a bitch you’ve become.
- You may get sympathy, for a while. That must make you feel better? Eventually of course, the people whose ears you’ve been whining into will want to strangle you. That’s if they hang around long enough to get to strangling point.
- Quite possibly, nothing will change. If you don’t like change, this is perfect for you! If you complain about your meal in a restaurant, you could get a replacement, an apology and maybe even a discount off your bill. Pretty much anything else won’t change just because you’ve bitched about it. Wow. Who knew?
- You could end up looking for a new job, or a new friend, or a new partner! That’s if you get ‘sacked’ for complaining about your current ones. Want to really ramp up the chances of this happening? Do it consistently. Do it often. Do it loudly. Do it on social media. Result!
If you don’t like the sound of these benefits, how about working out what’s going on with you? What’s behind your complaints? A general dissatisfaction with life? Turned into a stuck record about something that somebody once did to you and you can’t let it go? Can’t get anybody to listen to you any other way? Or is it that you feel really fed up with the way your life is or the people around you are, but it never occurred to you to do anything to improve things? Or maybe you’re scared of being assertive or making changes? “Would you like some cheese with that whine” or would you like to stop doing it? Your choice.
If you want to stop being a whiner, and you can’t make the change yourself, get some help.
By Judith Flowerday.